Life is Short

I learned today of the death of an old friend. I have not seen her in many years and I have to admit, I haven't even really thought about her except in the passing way we do of old friends. She was one of my closest friends in junior high and high school. We even started college together. She taught me to drive a stick shift and I nearly lost her transmission in the middle of an intersection of the small town where I grew up. I have some very dear memories of the time we spent together.

Many would say that I am risking going off-topic of the purpose of my blog which is supposed to be about my journey to improved health and losing weight. But here's the thing, I was told that my old friend died from complications of diabetes. My passion these days is to try and convince at least one person that God is interested in our health and wants us to be mindful of how we treat the body He gave us. I am reminded once again of how important this is through the loss of my friend.

For anyone who may be paying attention, I hope that you can understand this, life is short. And while I hope that you all love strong and laugh hard. I hope you learn the importance of being a good steward to that which God provided you including your body. In the end, I think we have to give it back and we have to answer for what we did with it while we were here.

I guess this post is a little morbid, but this evening I feel the need to try and help at least one person to understand this. Sometimes I think it takes a little harsh reality to help us do that.

I wish anyone who is listening good health and happiness. Life is indeed very short - make the most of it.

Manna

My Sunday School class has been going through a Beth Moore Bible study - A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place. The study is all about the tabernacle and the significance of the various aspects of the tabernacle. I really like it, but there was a particular aspect studied one day that I continue to marvel at - manna.

Manna was provided by God each day for the Israelites to eat. This food was from heaven and provided all of the energy and nutrients that the Israelites needed to survive as they were traveling through the desert. You know what the Israelites did, they complained. They complained because they got tired of manna. They got tired of God's perfect food. They wanted meat.

In studying this lesson, I realize that I do this each and every day. God has given us this good and perfect food - namely all of the fruits and vegetables you can find at your local grocery store. Have you every really looked at the produce section? It's really beautiful. And not only is this food lovely to look at, it provides all of the nutrients that we need to survive our own desert. But what do I do about it? I complain. Because I don't want these wonderful fruits and vegetables, I want the processed food that we have distorted into something completely different and added all sorts of weird chemicals too. These manufactured foods which have some of the nutrients, but not in the proportions that I need or in a manner that is good for my body to recover them.

I continue to be amazed at God's grace and goodness that He continues to put up with my complaining about what I want. I am grateful that He is showing me the beauty of His plan for how to have a healthy body and how that healthy body contributes to the health of my very soul. He is an amazing God.

South Beach

Okay, I have to say, it seems to be working. I did a slightly modified version because my workouts have gotten to be pretty intense. I just make sure that I eat some sort of complex carb in the afternoon to fuel my workout. Otherwise, I've been sticking to it pretty well.

The biggest change in it for me is making sure that I have some sort of meat with my lunch and supper. At breakfast I have been relying on milk for protein. But at lunch and in the evening, I make sure that I have a piece of meat.

The only problem with this is that I don't like meat. I don't like to look at it, think about it, touch it. In all honesty, it really bugs me to think about eating flesh. I know that this food is provided by God for my health and well-being. I do not have a moral issue with it. I just think it's a little icky to eat flesh.

So, instead of dealing with raw meat, I bought frozen, already cooked chicken breasts and chicken strips. I also bought some frozen fish (it is raw). But because this stuff can be cooked from frozen, it is not as difficult for me to deal with and I just think about something else while I cook and eat it.

We all have our issues. And based on the results, I have to admit that it is worth it for me to find ways to deal with my issue. The loss for the week is 2 lbs. But in addition to that, I have realized that I had been basing most of my caloric intake around starchy carbohydrates and these drag me down and make me feel bad. They weigh me down in spirit. I don't think all carbs are bad, I think there must be some sort of appropriate balance for maintaining this spirit. I now have to figure out what that balance is.

Plateaus

Okay, I have to say that this really amuses me. My last post I was complaining about change and this one I am complaining about not changing. But, it still seemed like a worthwhile topic to consider.

I've been kind of stuck at my current weight for several months now. And after over a year of dramatic changes, this is getting really old. I've been trying to figure out how to get unstuck and have several ideas.

In order to come up with those ideas I have polled a few people whose opinions I respect. Out of respect to them, I will not say who they are. But, I will provide a few insights into what I have learned.

One person suggested that your body hits a plateau and all that means is that you are adjusting to your current weight before you move on. I have no evidence to refute this claim; however, it does seem that after a while, you need to take stock in what you are doing and make sure that you aren't doing something that is causing the plateau, i.e., letting up in your workout or eating more than you think.

One person suggested exactly what I identified in that last sentence - maybe my workouts are getting to easy for my body or I am eating more than I think or I am eating the same thing day after day. With the help of a personal trainer, I am certain that my workouts have continued to evolve over time. This is the plus side of having a personal trainer. They can help you continually update and/or improve your workout to keep things challenging. As for the eating, I am beginning to think that this may be my problem.

When I discussed it with my doctor, she offered a prescription for an appetite suppressant and also suggested that I try Phase II of the South Beach diet for about 6 weeks. I told her that it was important to me to achieve this goal without surgery and without medication. I want people to know that it is possible to do this without that kind of help. But I have been thinking about the South Beach option and have decided to give that a go.

So, for the next couple of weeks, it is my intent to follow the South Beach eating plan. I will keep you all posted on how that works and if it gets me off the plateau.

Keep your fingers crossed.

Change

Okay, let's face it - none of us handle change well. I have never handled change well. I hate change. Change means that I'm losing something even if it is something that I don't like. It seems sometimes that the bad I know is better than the good I don't know. I think this makes me an Israelite.

In the old Testament, Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt and out of slavery and into the desert. Here they were, free. They had been removed from captivity and were headed to the Promised Land. What is the first thing they do? Complain. I'm paraphrasing, of course, but they look to Moses and ask why did he ever ask them to leave Egypt. Why did they leave their land to wander in the desert where they didn't know anything, anyone, or have any food? Never mind that God was providing food for them on a daily basis. And God had promised to take them to a land "flowing with milk and honey." The evil they knew was better than the good they didn't.

But, life is all about change. Losing weight is all about change. Changing how you see yourself in the mirror, changing how you see food, changing how you see the steps you take and activities you pursue during the day. I find that sometimes I get stuck in wondering why I ever left Egypt for something I didn't know and didn't understand. Then I take a step and realize how much easier it is to do even the smallest things (getting off the couch, walking up and down stairs, even sleeping for goodness sake) and I am reminded that the Promised Land is overflowing with milk and honey.

So, change is difficult and sometimes we have to let go of things even things we think are good in order to be able to grab the better things that God has promised us. In the meantime, I try and learn how to find joy in the midst of the change. See the small victories in each day. Take pleasure in the people I have in my life now knowing that tomorrow they may be gone. And remember that I am headed to the land overflowing with milk and honey even though I think I would prefer if it were overflowing with chocolate.

Happy changing.

Writing It Down

I hate logging stuff. When I decide that I need to log something (write it down), it feels like I spend so much of my time writing down what I am doing that I don't have time to do anything else. But, I have to say that there are some benefits too. Of course, the thing I think about logging most lately is food - what I ate, when I ate it, and how much I ate.

When I first started this journey, I was familiar with the need to write down what I eat. I have tried a number of diet techniques. You name it, I have probably tried it with the one exception being surgery. On each of these approaches, writing down everything you put in your mouth was a necessary evil. So, when I started this time around, I knew that I would have to write it all down. One of the diets I've been on gave me the mantra "write before you bite."

Now, as a long-term food addict, the last thing I want to do is look at a list of what all I have eaten in a day. But here's the thing about writing it down, sometimes I won't eat something just because I have to write it down. And sometimes, writing down makes me realize that there are calories in every bite I take. If you decide you will write down everything you eat, then you realize that the bite you take while you are cooking dinner because you are so hungry that you cannot wait to eat until dinner is ready actually does have calories. Calories consumed standing up, driving in a car - they all count. Unfortunately, moving while eating does not negate the caloric value of a Snickers.

The deal that I eventually made with myself is that I write down for a while. Then when I remember what full is and what hungry is, then I can stop for a while. But at some point, I forget what full and hungry feel like so I inevitably have to go back to writing down. It only takes a couple of days of writing down now for me to remember and then things get back under control again.

So, I try to take my eating and writing down one day at a time. I may have to periodically log my food intake for the rest of my life. But when I remember that nothing tastes as good as it feels to be able to do all the things I can do now, writing down for a couple of days at a time suddenly doesn't seem like such an imposition after all.

Happy logging.

Travel

I have always enjoyed traveling. I like to go places and see things I have not seen before. I like to meet new people. I like to consider life from another point of view. I enjoy anticipating travel and thinking about what all I might experience on an upcoming trip. And I like to ponder a trip I have just returned from thinking about what all I got to do. But these days, every time I travel, I also think about what travel used to be like.

Before I started my fitness journey, I still liked to travel but it was also really difficult. When I got on a plane I was always terrified that the gate agent was going to stop me and force me to buy a second ticket. I always got to the airport really early so that I could look at my seat assignment and try to arrange it as best I could. I wanted an aisle seat in a row of 3 with no one sitting in the middle seat.

There were times when someone would be sitting beside me in the middle seat. I always felt sorry for them and hated myself for the misery I was putting this other person through. I would hope that they would not notice that unless the armrest was raised, I was in complete misery. I would quietly ask the flight attendant for an extension for my seatbelt and hope that no one noticed that I could not get the existing seatbelt around me. I would get out of breath walking up the jetway after a flight. Everything I did was an effort.

These days, if I get to the airport way early, I walk around looking at the shops or getting water or whatever I think I need for my flight. I no longer mind looking people in the eye as they get on the airplane because I'm not worried about how we will all fit in a row of 2 or 3 seats. I am more willing to talk to the people around me because I do not feel like I am imposing on their space.

In short, traveling is even more enjoyable than it ever was, in some respects. What is really funny is that now even though I still like to travel, I don't like to leave my life at home and leave the comfort of my gym behind while I travel. I have learned to look for the fitness center in the hotel as I check in and I realize that even if I am not able to get in a good workout while I am gone, I will always return to my gym at home when I get back. I have become completely addicted to my workouts. I guess this is just one of the side effects of health.

Happy Travels.